How I Dealt with my “Comparison Issue”
It’s impossible to NOT compare yourself to others — It’s a natural human tendency to feel that way! As people say, the comparison game is as old as humanity.
You can’t control how you feel. However, what you can control is how you think about it.
Comparing ourselves can make us smug/feel better than a person. Depending on who we compare ourselves to, it can also make our life paled in comparison.
In s̶o̶m̶e̶ rare cases, these comparisons can be helpful. They can give us a blueprint for improvement, and also motivate us to change. More often, nothing good comes out from comparing ourselves to others.
I have noted some self-reminder that were particularly helpful to me (And hopefully will help you too):
1. Acknowledge that there will always be someone prettier, smarter, more successful, talented, intelligent, or bubbly. For me, the trick is knowing the unique value of what I bring to the table.
Embrace it and be grateful for the things that we have (don’t focus on what you wished you had). If we commit ourselves to being deeply grateful for what’s good in our lives, we will be less vulnerable to comparison and envy.
If someone triggers that ugly feeling of comparison, stop and remind ourselves of the good things in our lives. Think of the things we DO have, the things we love, the people we have, the blessings around us. Focus solely on that.
2. What makes comparison especially hard is the fact that we frequently compare ourselves to the people that are at similar points in life with us. And there are always going to be people that excel in the exact areas we feel we’re failing.
“Life is a Race but not everyone has the same starting point.” — Sriram Athri
To me, the quote above is both true and untrue. Life might seem like a race, but we’ll end up exhausting ourselves if we keep comparing where we are to where other people are, since we all have different starting points, to begin with. Don’t focus on how we rank in comparison to others.
Instead of seeing life as a race, I have come to a realisation that life is more of a journey. We are all on a journey, to find something, to learn, to create, to give meaning to our own lives. That journey has nothing to do with how well other people are doing. It has nothing to do with what they have. It has everything to do with where we want to go, and what we want to do. The only way to make sense out of the journey is to do what we do best.
3. When we compare ourselves to others, we focus on all of their strengths, success & achievements — then ignore our own. Which leads to us lacking self-confidence.
To avoid these feelings, we should reflect the things we did, and acknowledged it. Focus more on your own achievements, and less to others’. It didn’t matter how small they were: If it was something we felt proud of, we should make a record of it.
If we aced a project at work, we should write it down. If we helped a friend in need, we should also take note of it. Tidied out the wardrobe? Made a new painting? Harvested the plants? Survived a tough week at work? Yeah, also jot it down.
That’s truthfully what I have been doing lately. Keeping track of all that I had achieved, both big and small, increased my self-esteem and made it easier for me to count my blessings.
I came to a realisation that other people were great, but in so many wonderful ways, so was I. 🌻
Conclusion
Dealing with comparison (and stopping myself from feeling low in comparison to others) is NOT a linear journey. There will be bumps in the road, moments of insecurity, and doubt. But maintaining the practice of acceptance, acknowledgment, and gratitude has helped keep my self-esteem on an even keel.
For whoever reading this, remember that you are amazing & you have what it takes to create a great future ahead of you!
