Life Lessons I Learned in My 20s
The journey through people’s 20s is often described as a time of transition, self-discovery, and anticipation for the future. Back when I was in my teenage years, I had yearned to reach adulthood fast, a place where I thought I would have all the answers, freedom, and control over my life (Oh boy I was wrong 🥹). I had been very eager to leave behind the uncertainties of adolescence, and embrace the independence and opportunities that adulthood promises. However, as the years fly by, I am feeling a greater sense of apprehension about the rapid passage of time.
With the arrival of adulthood, a wave of uncertainty crashes over me. The weight of people’s expectations, societal pressures, and the fear of making the wrong choices are immensely overwhelming. Admittedly, up to this moment I am sometimes still questioning myself whether I have done enough, accomplished enough, or made the right decisions along the way.
On the brighter side, as a way to feel more ‘at the moment’, here are some lessons I have gathered so far in my 20s:
- The importance of finding the balance
I found it crucial to find the balance between living in the present moment, and preparing for the future. I am a very future oriented person and sometimes I push myself to a point where I overlook the present moment. My focus on long-term goals and ambitions could be admittedly pretty intense that I neglect to appreciate the here and now. This relentless drive often leads me to set fairly high standards for myself, which was…exhausting.
Now, I keep telling myself that while it is natural for me to yearn for growth, it is equally (or even more!) important to cherish the experiences, relationships, and lessons learned during the present moment. I feel that by living in the moment, I can celebrate the littlest things, which help a lot in alleviating my anxiety that comes with the passing of time. - Start by knowing what I want, and what I don’t
I kept asking myself in the past: Why was it so hard to do (or not do) things? The answer is easy — Peer pressure!!.
We know that it stems from humans’ innate desire for acceptance within the society / group. Be it involving adopting certain beliefs, adopting a certain lifestyle, or conforming to societal norms, peer pressure influence our decision-making process.
As I was growing up, I can now proudly set my personal boundaries. For me, learning to say “no” became a crucial aspect of asserting my individuality and prioritizing my mental and emotional health. I stopped doing things just for the sake of pleasing people. By embracing my true self and setting clear boundaries, I have found a deeper sense of fulfillment. It’s a continuous journey, but one that is worth every step. The ability to navigate life on my terms has been very liberating. - Spend money on experience
I tell myself to mindful about large purchases on quickly-depreciating assets, BUT I also tell myself that it’s okay to spend money on experience as it’s incomparable. Right now I can always smile when I reminisce the things I did in the past— like when I spent a night sleeping on a park bench, or when I volunteered 10.700kms away, or when I got lost doing off trail hiking by myself with no signals and eventually finding myself in an abandoned graveyard. Would money be able to trade all those memories? I doubt it. - Consistently learn something new
This might sounds cliche… but learning new things is important to my well-being. The easiest way for me to do that is by reading. I feel that by engulfing myself in a book, it exposes my mind to new ideas, and enables me to find new ways of conducting my life, even. It doesn’t have to be heavy non-fiction books. Through my 20+ years of living, I’ve read more than 700 books, in which the majority are fiction novels. Still I was able to find important lessons in most of my books!
It is essential to remember that adulthood is not a fixed destination but an ongoing journey, as what I always tell myself. The uncertainty that I face is an inherent part of the process. And as what people say, growth often arises from stepping into the unknown.
So! Conclusion — As I reflect on my 20s so far, I acknowledge the dichotomy of yearning for adulthood while feeling uneasy about its arrival. These past few years have been a period of growth and self-discovery to me, especially during the pandemic years when I wasn’t able to go out of the house. Time passed by like a blur, honestly. And while the pace of time may leave me (and perhaps also you) feeling unsettled, it is very important to appreciate the present and embrace the journey that lies ahead. I believe that we can navigate the transition into adulthood if we have the balance between eagerness for growth and acceptance of the present moment.
